Too many

Too many lessons...cannot put them into words.
Too many thoughts...cannot put them onto paper.
Too many mistakes...cannot begin to forgive and forget myself.

It's hard. 

But, God is good. God is merciful and full of compassion.

Lesson 3

 

Overall, today turned out to be a rather nice day. For the first time in my life, I'm actually starting to realise what it means to be still.

Fasting and praying was quiet and effective, I managed to practise strumming a few more chords and it was good to worship God. I even had a prayer session with the parents, it's not often that we get to pray together and so it was great. 

In the evening, I met up with a friend who will be going back to Kurdistan to visit his family. He hasn't been back for 10 years. When he left, he was still a child. Honestly, I can't imagine what it would be like. The last time that his father saw him, he was barely a teenager and a bit of a mischievious boy, still young. But now, he's grown up. I asked him what he thinks it will be like when he sees his father. He answered without hesitation that they would both be crying, he's his father's oldest son whom he hasn't seen for so long it doesn't matter what happened in the past. It immediately led me to think about the parable of the lost son. Our heavenly father is always waiting for us, and welcomes us with so much love, mercy and grace. This friend also talks about religion A LOT. Everytime. Again, I have something inside me that craves for more knowledge and wisdom, and training..possibly theological training?...another reminder...
 

Lesson 2

Today was another quiet day. I'm starting to like these days. There's something peaceful about life when you're not running around that much.

It's been a little misty these days. The photo doesn't really do it much justice, but it was beautiful, a proper picture of winter....but it wasn't cold. That was the only thing mssing...the cold!! Can't believe that I would hear myself saying that! I think that sometimes the path in life may be straightforward, but if there is mist, then we can't see very much. It seems scary and mysterious, but as you walk more, the road becomes clear. Do I have the faith to keep on walking?

I went to uni to help give out some leaflets for the special student event on Friday. Another flyering session. Admittedly, I hate this activity. I cannot enjoy the act of trying to shove bits of paper into other people's faces. But today was different. We did our best and we worked together. And I really was thankful to God for giving me this opportunity to serve with this group of students, and to be a leader to them, even though I am so ill-equipped. I never really thought about it in that way before, so it was good. I'm also thankful to God for leading our student fellowship. It's been quite small so far this year, but I see that the core groups members are good and we're starting to learn and grow together, which is really encouraging.

Temptations are so difficult, but I believe that it will get easier step-by-step and little-by-little, by the grace of God and by his wisdom.

Lesson 1

Yesterday was a difficult day.
I'm not entirely sure why, but it was. Nevertheless, I got through it. 
I managed to stay at home, and for that I was proud of myself for it.

I'm starting to discover the joy of singing and worship, just by simply strumming a few chords on the guitar and humming along. There is definately power in praise. Whenever the psalmist came across any sadness or troubles, he still praised God. So, I'm learning to be still a little more, which definately a big step

I listened to another of John Piper's sermons. About knowing the will of God. It was really good....Look it up on his website, it was on 22/08/04. He talked about how there are aspects of looking at the will of God; the will of decree, and the will of command. The will of decree is that God is sovereign, and he governs and controls all things. However, there are things on earth that take place that he hates (sin). How can that be? It sounds contradictory. So, there is the will of command. This is the will that we disobey. We do not follow God in the way that he commands us to do so. Paul reminds us in Romans that we should be renewed and transformed, this is so that we can discern the will of God's command and do it. Our actions are so spontaneous that we do not think before we do things, that's why we have to constantly practise. 

So, it is the will of command that we need to seek- not what God wants us to do in the future, but to seek how to be constantly renewed in the our mind and spirit so that we are able to discern between right and wrong. The only way to do this is through reading God's word... the scripture equips us with ALL things. The Bible is God's revealed will of command...it is final and decisive and we DO NOT need to seek his will from anywhere else. 

So, that sermon really made me think. Especially since I've been focussing so much on what I think God wants me to do with my life.....

Anyways, the picture at the top is of 'Chinese New Year' cake. We only ever usually eat it during Chinese new year. However, someone made it last week and brought it to the Bible study group. I thought that it was a little strange that someone would make it now. But,...I guess that everyday can be a fresh, new start....doesn't just have to be once a year.